...

this is so old

2011-10-12T13:31:00.002-05:00

I just finally got back into this account. I lost the password and didn't get another one for a few years. I'm not sure I'll ever come back to it. But feel free to read if you wonder what I was thinking about 3 years ago.

2008-01-25T14:15:00.000-06:00

I love this morning. It began earlier than I like it, but Millie crept in to help me wake up. I don’t remember what she said ( I couldn’t really hear it, but I knew it was something about time to get up and then she just laid over my legs and then left the room and shut the door) I crawled out to find my hair sticking up everywhere so I put on my cap and sweater to emerge. I walked out to a two-table spread of breakfast foods, one of my favorite things. An enormous cup of coffee awaited me at my spot. After our breakfast waking and chatter we did lectio and meditated on mustard seeds growing into trees that birds come to live in. I came away with “peace” and “hope”. And now I’m sitting on a white and orange vinyl couch with bundled up people around me on their laptops. My coffee has a hint of honey taste and it’s keeping me warm against the draft coming in through the old white six-pane window behind me. I love the East Side. And Ray LaMontagne in my ears on a day like today. I wish you could also see the girl with black hair, green tights, and red shoes. Finally I’m inspired again (at least today at 10:33am)
Enjoy your day.

my day

2007-10-05T13:49:00.000-05:00

an alarm too early
short bangs from the night before
fresh pancakes
the day's new sun on my back porch
roomate breakfast
details
a heavy box
thank you notes
David Gray and Frou Frou
a chocolate brown quarter horse
a Chicagoan
a dark office
uninvited tears
hot peach tea
an invitation to a movie

2007-03-22T22:21:00.000-05:00

I'm in one of those rebellious moods. Ever since I left work. I feel destructive. I want to paint my walls some obnoxious green and not stay in the lines. I want to pack up 2/3 of my clothes and haul them off to Goodwill. I want to blast the music through my house with both doors open and cook some pasta and drink some wine. (I think I've written this blog once before.) I want a hot shower. It's rainy and I love it when the shower window steams up and I can peak out at the world past the pull down shade. My grandmother had a window in her shower and I did the same thing when I was 10. It's quiet and peaceful, warm on the inside, cold on the out. Maybe I'll settle for the hot shower and hanging some junk on the walls. I'll take the dinner too. :)

2007-03-18T16:14:00.000-05:00

I used to be a religious girl. I was under the impression that if I did certain things I would get what I was looking for. And if I did those things, I had the right to expect them of others and to look down on those who were different from me. What I really wanted was to feel okay about myself and to be in good standing with God. So I did the only thing I knew and I went about securing my list.
Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
But when I got to the end of the list I had none of those things I’d hoped for. I was an empty shell and to say the least, confused.
So I started over. I tore up the list and went on a quest to find what was real, what was true, to find life. I still believed Jesus came and did what he did so I could have real life, so I listened to him and this is what I found.

Grace has made me well with God.
He says love your enemies.
The last will be first.
Give up your life and you will find it.
Give to him who asks you.
If someone asks you to walk a mile, walk with them two.
Be reconciled to your brother.
Love the poor and the widows.
Share what you have been given.
You cannot do life without people.
You were made for a painless world, but you will not find it until after this life.
He came that I would have life and have it to the full.
Be kind, be gracious, have compassion, be gentle, forgive, be humble, and above all love.
Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted,
To release the captives,
To comfort those who mourn,
To give beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, hope for despair.

I am forgiven.
I have been justified forever.
I am clean and holy not because of me, but because of him.
I am loved by God.
I can do nothing to change these things.

This is not a new checklist. It is a way of life, it is life, and freedom. And I have a lot to learn and I still do not live as I hope to. But at least I can see it more clearly now and it is a good way, a way of love and of kindness.

“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. O God, the triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.” - A.W. Tozer

“Having been justified by faith,
we have peace with God through
our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom
we also have access by faith into this
grace in which we stand, and rejoice
in hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5

2007-03-04T12:23:00.001-06:00

The other day my roommate asked me if there was anything I needed at the store. I said, "Ooh! Yes, can you get me some hearing aid batteries?" She said, "Yeah, what are they? Just double-a's? Of course I missed what she said, needing the aforementioned batteries and caught up with the laughter at the thought of wearing AA batteries on my ears. Nice.
[Not self portrait.]

an ER account

2007-03-01T18:36:00.000-06:00

This morning I knew something was wrong when the pain under my left ribs sent me to the bathroom floor. I spent the next hour shifting around trying to make it stop and trying to hold in whatever was in my stomach. Well, the cold bathroom floor felt about the same as the emergency room floor. I couldn't help but wonder what had touched that floor previous to my face. And the vomitting with their white popcorn buckets while they took my info was quite different from that over my toilet. "On a scale from one to ten how is your pain level?" they asked. I said 8, but that was before I noticed the pain scale.
Tears were at the 10 and I had already cried twice. Well, I shimmied into my gown and moved between bed and cold floor looking for comfort that didn't come. After x-rays and a cat scan they informed me that my kidney stone was now moving on. Well, at least I wasn't dying. And the morphine went down quite nicely. That's about the time when my beloved friend (and caretaker for the day) began taking pictures to document the experience. I've spent the day enjoying what I would normally take for granted, which is to lie on my couch without pain. And I thought, sometimes without the pain I don't know what's to appreciate.

2007-03-01T18:31:00.000-06:00

The drizzle and my white breath makes me moody.
I can tell by the water building up in my eyes that my nose must be red. It's a day for thinking, a day that I would smoke if I smoked. Something about water, whether falling or fallen awakens something in me. I'm not sure what opens it up, but it happens every time I cross a lake or watch it drizzle outside my window. It makes me think God is thoughtful and quiet sometimes.

2006-11-06T23:06:00.001-06:00

I think in March I wrote a blog about how crazy it was to jump off the cliff to follow your heart and believe that God will put something under your feet. Well, with no official skills I've been hired as a graphic designer for a film team. It's completely insane. It never showed up on my radar. What I've wanted to tell everyone is that the jump is worth it. And I'll tell myself again.. Do what makes your heart come alive, even if you don't have a plan. It was terrifying, but now I get to play everyday and it's for something so much bigger than me. It's SO worth it. Jump people.

And a picture I took of some cool candle holder things at a HUGE market in East Texas -Canton, "Monday Trade Days"
If you like cool, old junk, you'd like this place. Every first monday of every month they set up for the weekend. I got old stamps, old hardware store tags, prescription bins, a 7-up bottle case, 5 yds of pink twine, some old tins, and some printing press blocks. some of my favorite things. cool junk, good textures, dirt with stories to tell.

new era in blogging

2006-09-14T16:36:00.000-05:00

So I've decided to do some re-mont on my little blog room here. The white will let me use color better and I really like color. And maybe it will reflect the new freedom I've given myself in posting. Apparently my permission to post was much too based on timing, feeling, quality of post content. Today I said forget it. I need an outlet regardless of subject matter. I've given myself permission to post thoughts I wrote down two years ago or thoughts that come as I type. I appreciate documentation and remembering.

I like this building. I saw it on the way to the airport this summer in NY.

2006-09-10T20:16:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day. It was sunny and I ate outside at a cafe midmorning. I saw dreadlocks and white dogs, tall trees and wildflowers. I took a walk around the block and looked around in the corner store. Millie and I stopped in at the Sunday Flea Market where I picked up a red baseball mit and then played catch in my backyard under the huge oak trees and streams of sunshine. I took a nap on my couch for the first time and it was great. Now I'm sitting in my kitchen with my roommate listening to old Indigo Girls. It's quiet and happy. I think I'm really gonna like this town.

2006-08-03T17:00:00.001-05:00

Do you ever feel like you spend more time adding things to your list than checking them off? It seems in trying to get things done that I realize more things I need to get done and then get distracted from my original tasks. I'm very distractable, granted, but I wonder how to stop the madness of the never-ending list. This always happens when I move. It always happens that I try to send that package I've been meaning to send for months, and try to send out an update letter to 100 people, and clean out the garage at the time I'm moving. Maybe it's because in packing and cleaning I find there are things left undone that I'd like to get done --then distraction sets in and I try to work on those things too. Not to mention the load of friends I inevitably want to see before I leave. Then I become grouchy and bite the heads off the ones closest to me as the moving date draws closer from the pressure of it all. Well, I should be working on my list as I speak, but I needed to get this strange phenomenon off my chest.

2006-07-05T09:46:00.000-05:00

"Home is where the green popcorn bowl is."
-BBH

I agree.

cheap grace v. costly grace

2006-07-03T08:16:00.000-05:00

I've been worried lately about a trend in the Church where people are flaunting their rights to sin. They talk about it with pride or sometimes with indifference...whether it's getting drunk or sleeping around. I fear that in trying to get away from the rules list that seemed to rear it's head so often in the modern Church, we've swung to the opposite side of no rules, live as you like, but stand on grace. Claim grace and do whatever you want and call it freedom. But I don't think that's freedom either. It's not what we were called to. It's doesn't bring real life. So I've been having these thoughts in the back of my head as I see leaders in the Church falling down continually and being okay with it. And last night realized I've probably taken part in this, if not openly then by theory.

A friend of mine recently showed me a book that talked about just this thing and it's awesome. I think it has a lot to offer the Church today. It's The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He was a young German pastor in the late 30's and early 40's. He spoke out against the Third Reich and was imprisoned for it. He was eventually hanged in a concentration camp with the Russian army in site, 3 days before the camp was overthrown. (actually another report I heard was 3 weeks before the Americans came and took it). Either way they killed him out of spite. He was a hero, but that's another entry entirely.

This is what he says about cheap grace and costly grace:

"Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church. We are fighting to-day for costly grace.

...Grace is represented as the Church's enexhaustinble treasury, from which she showers blessing with generous hands, without asking questions or fixing limits. ..bc it has been paid, everything can be had for nothing. Since the cost was infinite, the possibilities of using and spending it are infinite. ...Such a world finds a cheap covering for its sins; no contrition is required, still less any real desire to be delivered from sin. ...Well then, let the Christian live like the rest of the world, let him model himself on the world's standards in every sphere of life, and not presumptuously aspire to live a different life under grace from his old life under sin. This was the heresy of the enthusiasts..

Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. ...It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him. ...It is costly bc it calls us to follow, and it is grace bc it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly bc it costs a man his life, and it is grace bc it gives a man the only true life. ...Above all, it is costly bc it cost God the life of his Son: 'ye were bought at a price,' and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us." --Dietrich Bonhoeffer

It's sooooo good. Totally what I've needed to hear. One thing that came together in my head is that it's just another way of following the system, but not having the heart changed...we take grace bc we know it's a part of the gospel, the Word, but if we do not let it truly do its work then it is just another religious right or external thing we do bc we're "Christians". Like we pray, we go to church, we read our Bibles, we sin and take our grace. It can be system just like anything else if it's not really taken as the call to follow Jesus. To be for real about it, not just use it for our own purposes. ...this is what I see today.

2006-04-07T10:02:00.000-05:00

I did cut my hair and I hate it. It doesn't feel better. Today we'll dye it.

my 42nd

2006-04-07T09:52:00.000-05:00

Maybe if I go to Starbucks I'll feel better. I'll try cutting my hair so I'll feel better. Maybe if I pray I'll feel better. I want a nap so I'll feel better. I want two ding dongs out of my sisters pantry. I wanna look at 100 myspaces, I want dark hair. I want a big sweatshirt and baggy pants to cover up with. I wanna watch tv so I'll feel better. I want the windows down, I wanna drive fast, I wanna scream and kick the bag I just tripped over so I'll feel better. I want starbursts so I'll feel better. I want people and I want to be alone, I want U2 and I want the greatest hits of the year 1750. I wanna sleep til 10 watch tv til noon. I want a white chocolate martini and a trip overseas. I want a job so I can feel better. Anything to feel better.

2006-04-04T14:51:00.000-05:00

"For the past 80 years I have started each day in the same manner...I go to the piano and I play two preludes and fugues of Bach. I cannot think of doing otherwise. It is a benediction on the house. But that is not its only meaning for me. It is a rediscovery of the world of which I have the joy of being a part." -Pablo Casals, world-famous cellist

What is your daily benediction?

2006-03-30T13:34:00.000-06:00

Today is one of those days where I'm not sure how to spend my time and the more I do it seems the more I'm wasting my time. I'm still in my pajamas because nothing I'm doing today requires me to look presentable and I need a shower but I'm not willing to commit to that much energy exertion yet. I made coffee, made some calls, looked up scholarships that require a lot of thinking about things I don't like or care about - essays on what country poses the largest nuclear threat to N. America. But there was one fun one. It was from OP Loftbeds. They would give you $500 for telling them your most embarassing moment, or creating a new word and using it in a sentence, and telling them how a loftbed would improve your living situation. That's funny. That might cover two classes. I'm on my way.
Today for lunch I tried to make something hot ..like a real meal, something good for me. The chicken turned out dry and the rice like little pebbles in my mouth. Did I not read the directions right?

This day has been amusing and I still have hope that I will accomplish something.
And another funny thing...last night that guy in my last post was in my dream for a split second. (Shawn White/flying tomato) I haven't even thought about the olympics since they happened, but I was at a party and I turned around and there was this big head over my shoulder with fluffy red hair and I just remember telling him I watched the whole olympics this year. He laughed and was glad about that.

2006-03-24T15:17:00.000-06:00

I gotta say, this is one of the weirdest times ever in my life. I just decided to leave the ministry I've been working for the 6 years or so and I have no plan. I will lose my insurance and my paycheck and I don't know how I will pay my bills. Here's the deal: I'm trying to live what I've been saying I believe - that people should find what makes them come alive and then do it, work it into life because we need to keep our hearts alive to live who we were fully created to be. Know your heart and treat it well. Go for it even if it doesn't make sense. I would give this advice to anyone who was choosing between something good and purposeful and safe and something that was a little nuts without a plan, but that made their heart come alive. So why is it so scary to do it myself? Because I like to feel safe, taken care of and have a plan. I barely even have a resume. My skills are leading Bible studies and mentoring. That's funny. Like I can put that on a resume and get a real job. hahhhaaaa. So for now my best idea is ReCollections. www.recollectionsonline.com I filled out an appl. and gave it to them Tuesday. I'll see if I can make this work, but I don't think it'll cover bills. I want to do creative things - this is what inspires me, but have no trained skills in this. It's something I'll have to work on. Like Sonny Deavors says, "If you find a job you love, you never have to work a day in your life." But Frannie says it took him a long time to find it. Just like it took God 25 years to give Abraham his son. But he and Sarah both laughed at God because it seemed so absurd by that point. Is this comforting or sick? I'm not sure. I like Mr. Sonny and he made it. I'm still choosing to believe God has something, but I can't say it's not scaring the pants off me.

2006-03-02T09:54:00.000-06:00

Does anyone else wanna hang out with this guy?

jambi

2006-03-02T09:09:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I wish I could have a box like the one Pee Wee Herman had with the talking head.

But instead it would be God's head.
That's what I'd like this morning. To talk to God face to face and ask him some questions and have Him talk back to me. I guess I'd rather him not be in a box, but wouldn't it be weird to see God sitting on a couch or in a coffee shop. Seems too irreverent or something for him to have legs. Unless he's Jesus.
I'd ask Him what I'm supposed to do.
..and maybe to get a sneak peek at heaven.

2006-03-01T16:18:00.000-06:00

just when you think you're on top of your game you find out the progress you just made on an insurmountable detestable task has been erased. It's not $750 I have to raise, it's $1500.
a month.

2006-03-01T10:43:00.000-06:00

sleepy, coffee, dry cereal we're out of milk. Can't seem to get going today. been home from Siberia as long as I was there. Seems like I just got home. the faces were so sweet, the kisses and hugs, the little babies, the big grandmas. i loved it. i had my own personal translator, Marina. at the end she gave me a ring that i'm wearing now on my russian wedding finger, right hand. it says gospodi, spaci i cohryani menya. it means Lord, save and keep me. i like it. it reminds me. russia is a place where part of me stays. and i can't access it at home. it's like a puzzle piece that only fits over there and when i'm over here it's out. i guess not that i'm incomplete when here, but there is an experience i've had and i cannot reconnect with it until i return. when i'm there i feel like i got a piece of my heart recovered, things i love that were a part of my life at another time. it feels good to recover and remember. and then to drink it in, to take in every scent of it, every look on their faces, every tone in their voice, every flavor and sound. bottle it up until next time. i like to think that if i never return there on this earth that i will return to it in heaven. that's the thought deep down in my heart every time I leave. it makes it less strange to leave.

2006-01-13T18:16:00.000-06:00

In 15 days I leave for Siberia, Russia.
Friggin Siberia!!!! In January!!!!!!!!! According to findlocalweather.com, it is currently -40 degrees Celcius and Fehrenheit, Ferehnhiet, Fherenheit. -40 F. I can't imagine air that cold. Dark, cold, Siberia. But I can't wait!

I ordered 4 pairs of socks and 2 long underwears and one pair of gloves and a big heavy scarf 6 feet long and 1 foot wide to protect me from the elements. Plus the coat, boots, etc. that I'll have there. We'll see if they do the trick. I'm praying they do the trick.

check it out...it's half way around the world. that's cool. What's cooler is that we're going to help orphans and prisoners and schools and hospitals. offering food, clothes, meds, Jesus, eternal life, etc. I'm excited and a little anxious. The prison looks pretty dark so that's a little scary. I can't wait to hug those little kids though and give em teddy bears and lots of lovin.

2005-12-19T23:17:00.000-06:00

In case you need to snuggle up by a good fire with a good book and a cup of hot tea. I took the liberty of taking a nap today. I was heavy as lead. I had already struck up a nice big fire in the fireplace and decided to grab A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, which I'm reading for the first time this year. I remember every year around Christmastime growing up I would start to find my dad with this book in his hand and a cup of coffee. So I'm carrying on the tradition. Anyway, I sat in front of the fire for a few minutes to get my back all good and toasty and then moved to the couch with my book and a blanket. Ohhhhh man, the warm back on a comfy couch and a good book....it was the best nap I've had in a long time. It was like the couch pulled me down and tucked me in and I slept hard. You should try it soon on a cold day. And you should try Dickens. He's quite creative.

Like a "good neighbor"

2005-11-23T11:45:00.000-06:00

I think insurance companies are like the mob. We pay them all this money so they'll take care of us when we get in trouble. And we just keep payin em.

The best Dragon I ever had

2005-11-08T18:36:00.000-06:00

I've officially had too much coffee. I get these tiny headaches when I drink it now. Frustrating bc I just keep drinking it anyway. In fact I leave in 10 minutes to go drink some more. The juice is always calling. I gotta start tea or something. But somehow it seems second best every time.
For your next coffee high try Komodo Dragon by Starbucks. My current favorite.

Exit 60B

2005-11-02T14:41:00.000-06:00

Today I was happy to buy an antique pillow and a birthday cake for my mother. There's something very homey and happy about a cake shop. Especially if it's a specialty shop in a little neighborhood house called Sweet Memories. www.sweetmemoriescakes.com - because I don't know how to make the words light up so you can click on them. Sweet people and beautiful cakes. It smells good when you walk in and they have old rugs all over the place and the floor creaks when you walk. It made me breathe easier.
And I found out that if you go to www.elizabethtown.com it will play a great little soundtrack while you're there. So I put it on today as I worked at my computer. I LOVE it. Even made me cry once I think. It goes with the cake place.

they were 6.99

2005-11-01T14:04:00.000-06:00

so the dvd's were $6.99. so it wasn't that bad. I got a cellcert from my neice on Miracle Drug and Yahweh. Two of my faves from the Vertigo album. Very nice. Shout out to Emma. Thanks baby. And to all you who walked up to my door for candy last night dressed as "yourself", you suck.

purchases aren't working

2005-10-29T09:38:00.000-05:00

1 Mrs. Baird's pie and 4 dvd purchases later, I'm seeing that you can't have everything. it's just a fact. you have to give up some stuff and move on. it's almost never the end of the world. i don't know why i say almost, but I guess at some point it seems that way. I need to be at peace with restraint and making good choices. Go on in humility and swallow the loss. Make it a good day. Here's to a good day.

u2 dreams die

2005-10-27T13:39:00.000-05:00

U2, I can't afford you. But it doesn't mean I love you any less. 29 1/2 hrs to showtime. Light up the stage boys.

A day at the fair

2005-10-23T21:40:00.000-05:00

Not just any fair...the Texas State Fair. I took tons of pictures only to realize that when my sister handed me the camera, it had no film in it. Then the pictures I did take went thru the scanner at the airport and they got all fuzzy. Well I can't seem to get any more of them on this post anyway (besides that one up there of the swings - which I will say that my brave nephew Jackson - 4 yrs old - rode). But it was good to see Big Tex, and eat cotton candy and funnel cake, and play the games and win enormous soccer balls, and ride a mini-rollercoaster with my neice and nephew. We kept our hands up the whole time and laughed our heads off.

I wanna go here

2005-10-12T09:12:00.000-05:00

(it's not a cooking school)
"Each person who comes to L’Abri ...participate in the daily reality of an extended family, with all it’s mundane chores to be done and the beauty and confusion which children and animals bring, they will be participating in a way of life where faith and occupation are integrated. Where work, study and prayer are all of one piece in the fabric of human experience lived out under God."

I wanna go here. read, study, think, question, play, listen, walk outside, work in the garden, chop some wood, see God.
Basically a bunch of people just come and live together for a while hashing things out and work and eat and play together. -but no longer than 6 months. To live on a hill with sheep and some swiss people..count me in.
http://www.labri.org/swiss/video.html - video from L'Abri Switzerland, but I think the England one would be cool too.
(and it's cool bc i heard Lewis, Shaeffer, and Tolkien used to sit around and talk about their writings and thoughts here with cigars in their mouths. i don't know, i just heard it.)

today

2005-10-06T20:44:00.000-05:00

Today I drove in traffic for about 2 and a half hours. Not all together, but enough to almost lose my mind if it weren't for the distraction of the chilly air. I unclipped my hair on the way home from work to avoid a headache and it seemed to unclip my whole self. I rolled down the window and to feel the cold air and turned the heat on to some melancholy Cold Play. I was still sitting on 635 bumper to bumper, but it didn't matter as much since my hair was everywhere and kinda matted from two days of curls and hairspray. Free, it was free.

The only other thing worth mentioning from today is that I was talking to Millie on the phone and she was getting ready to leave Starbucks, but then she couldn't find her phone. She was like "I lost it in this chair LAST time!!!" and I was like "Melinda!!! gaah." So we were both distressed at the loss of her phone...genuinely. Until she started laughing and said that I shoulda pointed out that she was using it. We must be idiots.

Happy Fall Saturday

2005-10-01T09:40:00.000-05:00

Just a little picture for this fancy free Saturday. I hope everyone is doing nothing but fun today. I woke up, checked email, Mom trickled in, we looked up our super cool hotel for a trip we're taking in Nov. She's in the kitchen making cinnamon rolls and I made a big pot of coffee. Mmmmmm, freedom on Saturday morning. I love it.

trying to swallow the sun

2005-09-28T10:59:00.000-05:00

I gotta post again or this thing's going straight to the shadows never to be seen again.
Yesterday I talked to a TX cowboy on the phone. He told me that when you get to be his age you realize that life is a vapor. I really appreciated him telling me that. I want to hear these things from older people so I can't start living the real life now and not have to figure it all out on my own. But I bet I'll still have to figure that one out on my own - that life is short and I don't need to spend it worrying about my reputation or my clothes. He also said we're all here for only one thing...to serve God, worship him, know him. It seemed so simple. It sounded good. He said if you make any difference in anyone's life it's all been worth it. i cried. i mean i teared up. i didn't expect to hear all the stuff he said. I wish more older people would tell us the stuff they've learned. My ears are open.

Yesterday I also saw the sun go down over a Texas field. It was the biggest ball of dark orange and it was crystal clear around the edges. And it made my heart ache. If only we were made to take in something so beautiful. It hurts when we see it bc we can't take it in. Not til later anyway. I almost want to swallow it up and have it become a part of me. Same thing with my 11 month old neice. She's so adorable and I love her so much I just want to swallow her up. Sounds gross, but I know you know what I'm talking about. We're not just supposed to look at stuff and that be the end of it. Same with music I think. There are barriers, but there is hope they'll will be removed one day. We're gonna actually take it all in.
(photo by Ian Britton)