sleepy, coffee, dry cereal we're out of milk. Can't seem to get going today. been home from Siberia as long as I was there. Seems like I just got home. the faces were so sweet, the kisses and hugs, the little babies, the big grandmas. i loved it. i had my own personal translator, Marina. at the end she gave me a ring that i'm wearing now on my russian wedding finger, right hand. it says gospodi, spaci i cohryani menya. it means Lord, save and keep me. i like it. it reminds me. russia is a place where part of me stays. and i can't access it at home. it's like a puzzle piece that only fits over there and when i'm over here it's out. i guess not that i'm incomplete when here, but there is an experience i've had and i cannot reconnect with it until i return. when i'm there i feel like i got a piece of my heart recovered, things i love that were a part of my life at another time. it feels good to recover and remember. and then to drink it in, to take in every scent of it, every look on their faces, every tone in their voice, every flavor and sound. bottle it up until next time. i like to think that if i never return there on this earth that i will return to it in heaven. that's the thought deep down in my heart every time I leave. it makes it less strange to leave.