I used to be a religious girl. I was under the impression that if I did certain things I would get what I was looking for. And if I did those things, I had the right to expect them of others and to look down on those who were different from me. What I really wanted was to feel okay about myself and to be in good standing with God. So I did the only thing I knew and I went about securing my list.
Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
But when I got to the end of the list I had none of those things I’d hoped for. I was an empty shell and to say the least, confused.
So I started over. I tore up the list and went on a quest to find what was real, what was true, to find life. I still believed Jesus came and did what he did so I could have real life, so I listened to him and this is what I found.

Grace has made me well with God.
He says love your enemies.
The last will be first.
Give up your life and you will find it.
Give to him who asks you.
If someone asks you to walk a mile, walk with them two.
Be reconciled to your brother.
Love the poor and the widows.
Share what you have been given.
You cannot do life without people.
You were made for a painless world, but you will not find it until after this life.
He came that I would have life and have it to the full.
Be kind, be gracious, have compassion, be gentle, forgive, be humble, and above all love.
Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted,
To release the captives,
To comfort those who mourn,
To give beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, hope for despair.

I am forgiven.
I have been justified forever.
I am clean and holy not because of me, but because of him.
I am loved by God.
I can do nothing to change these things.

This is not a new checklist. It is a way of life, it is life, and freedom. And I have a lot to learn and I still do not live as I hope to. But at least I can see it more clearly now and it is a good way, a way of love and of kindness.

“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. O God, the triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.” - A.W. Tozer

“Having been justified by faith,
we have peace with God through
our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom
we also have access by faith into this
grace in which we stand, and rejoice
in hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5